Greetings from Oklahoma! SURPRISE – I live here now!
Vladik and Tow Mater… reunited!!
I know… I can’t believe it either…
I mean, where do I start with this post? I guess if you’ve followed my blog for any amount of time you’ve probably picked up on some of my personal struggles. When I started eVolstyle a little under two years ago I was newly divorced and c o m p l e t e l y l o s t. I had just crossed a major life hurdle by ending an unhealthy relationship with my second husband, and as happy as I was to be free from that source of pain, I was also terrified to let go of the life I had imagined for myself as an actor in Los Angeles. I tried to hang on as best I could, but eventually I came to realize that my old dreams no longer fit me. I was ready for change, but I had no idea what I wanted anymore, so I found a full-time job in a field that interested me (fashion production) and tried to make the best of things. It worked for a while. I embraced the challenge of learning a new job, keeping up with a toddler on my own, blogging… on the surface, things were OK. Things probably would have been OK all around if I had been making enough money to actually enjoy living in Los Angeles. As determined as I was to “make it” in LA, there was another part of me that knew my lifestyle (and career) was simply not sustainable, and I had no idea what to do about it. I mean, I had a lot of ideas, but no time to pursue any of them, which left me feeling beyond frustrated with my situation.
Missed my boo, Asta…
I was stuck in this cycle of being frustrated and scared (and exhausted) for months until recently I realized that there was a simple solution: admit that I needed help finally! I talked to my parents about everything I was dealing with and all of the dreams and ideas I had for my long term career goals, and they were 100% supportive. They offered me free rent and babysitting so I could have time to figure everything out, and I jumped at the opportunity. I put in my two weeks notice at work almost immediately, packed up all of my stuff, and presto-chango here I am… in the house where I grew up, in the city that I left at age 18 while vowing to NEVER, EVER move back. It’s funny… I always thought that if I ever had to move home again it would be the lowest moment of my life, that it would mean I was a complete failure. And I guess it’s true that I have failed at quite a lot of things, but right now, I don’t feel like a failure at all. I’m proud of the fact that I actually tried to do everything I wanted to do, and I’m proud of myself for continuing to try.
I’ll be taking over all of the upstairs bedrooms… hope my siblings don’t mind!
It’s bittersweet leaving Los Angeles. I felt more at home there than I ever did here in Oklahoma. I’ll miss it like crazy – the sunshine, perfect weather, palm trees, beaches, hiking, vegan restaurants, art museums, and the collective creative energy of almost 4 million people all trying to live their dreams. But I’m also really excited to finally have the freedom to work on some of my new dreams, and you know I’ll be crafting a plan to move back to LA as soon as possible!
The Spice Girls poster in my new “office” stays up… gotta keep it classy!
On a side note – I’ve been suffering from major blogging withdrawal lately. I wasn’t able to post anything about all of this here before my big move, partly because there wasn’t time, and partly because I didn’t want my ex to know in advance, but I’ve been absolutely dying to share everything happening in my world with you! For instance, did I mention that I have a BOYFRIEND NOW? We’re even “Facebook official” you guys… huge deal, right?!
In addition to personal stuff, I especially can’t wait to start posting about all of the amazing new vegan and ethical fashion coming our way for fall. Vegan fashion is currently hotter than ever, and with new brands, blogs, and products popping up everyday, I can’t help but suffer from a little FOMO when I take a 3 week break from blogging. I’ll be posting regularly for good now, so make sure you’re still following for fresh cruelty-free fashion inspiration every day! I’m so excited to get back to work… this is going to be so much fun!! Talk soon!
XO,
Stefanie